First off, I've developed strange habits. One of my new-found comforts is to trap myself in the office. At first, my family thought I kept getting trapped accidentally, but I've been caught nudging the door shut with my nose. And if they are home, I just sit there and wait for them to discover that I am stuck. I like to be rescued. If they are not home, I try to dig myself out and create masterpieces like this:
Mommy and Daddy were none too happy about my attempt to get out. Mommy covered the hole up with duct tape until they decide to replace the carpet. She said it looked classy...
...but I think she was being sarcastic. Another habit that I've developed is to eat...ummm...stuff that I'm not supposed to eat. Non-edible things. Yes, I admit, I've been doing that. I don't know why I do it, as it certainly does not taste good, but Mommy diagnosed me with a form of OCD and I trust her because she is a therapist.
Oh, if you thought I moved on from my old habits, you are wrong. I still gnaw on the master bedroom door frame and leave pools of drool (Hey, I rhymed!) that stain the carpet every Wednesday night when Mommy and Daddy have people over for their weekly Bible study.
While they learn about Jesus, I remind them of total depravity and the effects of the fall. Hey, someone has to do it.
Lastly, I've been getting comments lately on my weight gain by friends, family, and the veterinarian. I am self-conscious and feel rather embarrassed when Mommy calls me Triangle Butt.
I guess looking at this picture, I can see it in my hips and thighs. And stomach. And pretty much my entire torso. It probably doesn't help that I'm eating extra non-edible "snacks" throughout the day. How does that work anyway? Can I still gain weight from eating non-food? Am I thinking too hard?
Please, someone save me before they take more picture of me like this:
